I wrote this song about my grandmother Barbara, after she passed away on her 79th birthday. Writing the song helped me to process some grief and doubt and questions, as well as to honor her memory. My hope is that the song resonates with other people's experiences of moving through grief, and can serve as a consolation.
lyrics
You'd bend to no one's will but your own, save for Jesus, for him you'd lay it all down
"Keep it simple" you'd say with a smile, when my restlessness and questions would abound
"What have you got to lose if you trust?"
"What have you got to give of yourself?"
I know you laid it all in His hands
And I'm trying, yeah I'm trying to believe
As the sun falls down and the leaves turn gold, you're with me, you're with me
As snowflakes fall on my cheeks and nose, you kiss me, you kiss me
When blossom petals cloak the grass, when the light breaks in after the storms pass
On the longest day, when the sun falls down, you're with me
What a woman, and oh, what a past, you owned it all with a side-eye glance and a laugh
You were a mother when you were a kid, well you had a choice, and I'm glad you made the one you did
Who am I without you in this world?
Who can I call when I feel alone?
I know you laid it all in His hands
And I want to, but I want to know
As the sun falls down and the leaves turn gold, you're with me, you're with me
As snowflakes fall on my cheeks and nose, you kiss me, you kiss me
When blossom petals cloak the grass, when the light breaks in after the storms pass
On the longest day, when the sun falls down, you're with me
How do I move through doubt thick as sand?
How do I hear your voice in the quiet?
I know you laid it all in His hands
So that's where I'll go, when I need to know
As the sun falls down and the leaves turn gold, you're with me, you're with me
As snowflakes fall on my cheeks and nose, you kiss me, you kiss me
When blossom petals cloak the grass, on the day you were born and you breathed your last
On the longest day, when the sun falls down, you're with me
credits
released March 10, 2020
Music, lyrics, ukulele, vocals: Jessica Gerhardt
Engineering: Geoff Gross
Mixing, editing: Matt Smith
Acoustic guitar: Gabriel Montes
Mastering: Patrick Doyle
Jessica Gerhardt is an LA-native singer-songwriter whose style ranges from intimate ukulele-driven folk to anthemic indie
rock. Her writing follows after fiery femme rock artists like Fiona Apple and Alanis Morissette, but with a distinct spiritual bent, inspired by Sufjan Stevens and Audrey Assad. She hopes her music points beyond itself, to the transcendent, and that it uplifts and heals....more
Charming German indie pop with the keen melodic sensibilities and melancholic undercurrent of some of the style's best practitioners. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 26, 2021
Despite its themes of isolation and loneliness, Caroline White's latest batch of folk-pop confessionals is an LP brimming with confidence. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 7, 2019